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Instant cart score
Get a 1–10 judgment in seconds, with the most questionable purchase called out first.
AI cart auditor
Your cart has been summoned.
Let an AI judge your impulse buys, expose your most suspicious spending habit, and turn the verdict into a shareable 30-second roast.
Free to try. No credit card required.
Cart verdict
8.7 / 10 reckless
Seconds, not spreadsheets
The funniest offense surfaces first—no long setup or budgeting homework.
Your cart stays yours
You choose what to submit and whether the final roast gets shared.
Jokes with a point
Every roast pairs the chaos with a clear spending pattern or practical swap.
The proceedings
From cart chaos to final verdict.
Retail therapy finds the story hiding in your shopping habits, then edits it for maximum comedic damage.
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Specific, shareable roast
Turn impulse buys into a punchy verdict made for group chats and short-form feeds.
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Useful beneath the joke
See item categories, spending patterns, and smarter swaps without sitting through a lecture.
Built to travel
One verdict. Every group chat.
Export a fast, vertical roast with dynamic captions, a score, your top offenses, and a final judgment ready for short-form video.
Choose your sentence
One free laugh. One deeper reckoning.
Free roast
For seeing what the judge notices.
$0
- Instant cart score
- Basic item categories
- Watermarked video roast
Pro audit
Full verdictFor the brave, curious, and content-ready.
$9 / audit
- Everything in Free
- Deep financial guilt report
- Budget-friendly item swaps
- Unwatermarked HD export
Before you confess
Questions from the defense
Court is now in session
Find out what your cart says about you.
Submit the purchases you have been avoiding, get the verdict, and send it to the friends who enabled you.
Audit my cart